As a young man, Cornelius Walker experienced a profound identity crisis. Cornelius’ family quickly moved to the suburbs after learning that an 11-year-old boy who looked like him had been murdered in his native London. It was there that he first encountered the ugly display of blatant racism. Trying to find his place in an uncertain world, he tries to fit in with the kids who taunt him and demoralize him. The unusual trajectory of his life as a young man and the lessons he learned along the way formed the basis for the revealing documentary Black Sheep.
As racial tensions escalated, Cornelius came to loathe himself for being black. He doesn’t feel embraced in his day-to-day life, which translates into unease about his appearance. He was determined to adopt a more European look, which he felt would feel more mainstream and acceptable among his peer group. He slathered on skin lightening lotion and donned harsh blue contact lenses. He changed his personality and natural way of speaking.
His plan worked. He quickly gained the affections of racist youths and their families in the neighborhood. It’s a strange dynamic that temporarily assuages some of his demons but paves the way for others to emerge. When the group tortured other kids of color, he remained passive because acceptance was his number one goal. “You’re talking about a black kid being accepted by racists,” Cornelius admitted. “feels good.”
The need for approval from parents and peers says a lot about the distorted image Cornelius made of himself as a teenager. He stared into the camera, offering a raw and haunting testimony. He tells the story of his life with deep regret, brutal honesty and touching vulnerability. Most of all, he talks about his longing for unconditional love. At the end of this phase of his life, his greatest gift was learning to love himself despite the prejudices of others.
With beautifully rendered reenactments and soulful commentary from Cornelius himself, Black Sheep is a harrowing portrait of a character. His teachings are universal.
Directed by: Ed Perkins
